My ever-kulit pamangkin has this habit of doing countdowns to any special occasion at home. My birthday was no exception. He’d tease me and tell me, " Tita Kaka, di ba ang birthday mo sa 21 November?" and I would shrug him off and tease him back that if the doesn’t get my birthday right, he will be left alone to eat whatever is left in the fridge when the whole family is off to some swanky resto. He’d give me a toothy grin and would go back to whatever he was doing at that time.
Eversince I could remember, my birthday is filled with moments, wonderful and otherwise. Looking back 11 years ago, on this same day, I met an accident which changed my life forever. Spending my birthday on a hospital bed with a gallon of water to keep my fractured leg steady was not exactly ideal but being the positive person that I am, I chose to think that at least long-lost friends, relatives and what-have-yous would want to greet me to brighten up my very "happy" birthday. That’s me, always looking at the positive side of things. Until last Tuesday when my whole world came crashing down.
Last weekend was a typical weekend for me. Grocery in the morning, lunch with mommy, nap in the afternoon. 8 months is such a long time to delve into the past and I was not expecting anything real anymore. I received a text message from an unknown no. and was asking if we could be friends. I asked who the sender was and how he got my name. When he did not reply, I decided to just forget the whole thing. That night while I was fixing my bag, my brother-in-law went out of the room to give me my phone as it was ringing incessantly for the past 1 hour or so. When I checked, a different no. flashed and I was already compelled to drop the call. I checked the message, and voila, the text was so familiar that I did not have to ask who it was. Simply put, it was someone who left me 8 months ago and was trying to win his way back. Funny thing is, he could not even answer all my questions: Is he ready for a commitment? Is he willing to intro me to his family, Is he willing to fight for me? All he can say was that he would be waiting for me in the south and we will talk. After saying his usual I-love-yous, I did not hear anything from him anymore.
Monday had passed and nary a word from him, I decided to text him and ask if he is serious in his offer, not even implying that we were meeting up to discuss us. That was around 8:30 and after two hours, another no. replied saying that she was the wife and she doesn’t want me to text anymore. I was so shocked and numbed and just couldn’t move an inch when I read the message. I replied back and said that they will not hear from me ever again and had I known that he was married, I would not have replied.
That was the last time I ever got in touch with "him". I was in a rollercoaster of emotions and I have not cried eversince. It had to happen a few days before my birthday! I couldn’t make any sense of the fact that it is I he chose to hurt despite all the goodness and patience I have shown him. It pains my heart that he chose my birthday to drop the bomb on me and use me for whatever agenda he has. But despite it all, I will still choose to celebrate my birthday with a bang and with the people who truly matter. My life will not stop and my world will keep on revolving no matter what. I am scarred, but I know my scars would remind me of how far I have gone. Looking back, it would just be part of the never-ending process called life. And as a friend would put it, I am too blessed to be depressed.
I do hope next year would be a good year for me. At least I have something to look forward to. 
